


Big Mistake

by keys2thebimma



Category: Big Bang (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5758294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keys2thebimma/pseuds/keys2thebimma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngbae should never have said "I love you too".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Mistake

The sun is filtering through the gaps in the blinds, enough to brighten the room and outline the dozing couple on the bed. Youngbae yawns, stretches and then reaches out to tangle his fingers into the hair of the slender man beside him. He looks almost innocent illuminated in the sunlight, pouty lips parted and no visible dark circles. The dark locks practically shine in his hand, so Youngbae moves his hand lower until he is caressing the younger man’s lower back. Soft strokes up and down the skin until Jiyong is gently pulled from his slumber. He turns to face Youngbae, eyes still closed and a slow smile pulling at his lips.

“Good morning hyung” Jiyong gracefully stretches his aching limbs and lets out a huge yawn. It reminds Youngbae of a cat.

“Morning” Youngbae murmurs. He’s too lost in the moment of waking up together and looking into Jiyong’s eyes.

Jiyong finishes his stretching and then shuffles towards Youngbae in the bed. He nestles himself under Youngbae’s arm and snuggles into his chest. “I love you, hyung.”

“I love you too” his reply is automatic by now, almost robotic - almost as if trying to convince himself. Youngbae pushes those thoughts away and presses a kiss to the younger man’s hair.

He can feel Jiyong's steady heartbeat against his chest, practically in sync with his own. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if physically trying to dispel the swirling thoughts. He should never have told Jiyong that he loved him back. Not just now, not last night – he should have kept his mouth shut. No matter how many times in the last few hours that Youngbae has said “I love you too” to Jiyong, he knows that he doesn’t mean it. He can’t. He could never.

Youngbae looks down and appreciates the graceful curve of Jiyong's body towards his. He looks at the way Jiyong’s hair hides his eyes, his tattoos stark against his pale skin. He slides his hand down Jiyong’s bare back – eliciting a shiver and Jiyong’s eyes flutter closed at the sensation. Jiyong is absolutely beautiful, but he doesn’t mean anything to Youngbae.

Jiyong gives one last stretch, then slowly unravel himself from around the older man and sits up in the bed. He stands up and starts to search for his clothes amongst the mess on the floor.  
Youngbae rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. He remains still, hoping to avoid any kind of eye contact with Jiyong. He feels the mattress dip as Jiyong sits back down, fully dressed, and lean over to softly kiss him.

When Jiyong pulls back, he is biting at his lip. “Is something the matter?”

The older man sighs. _Fuck yeah, there is_ , he thinks. _This was a big mistake_. He chooses to remain silent and shakes his head, “No”.

Jiyong's lips twitch, the ghost of a smile. He doesn’t look convinced, but he nods and stands up from the bed. He picks up his shoes and makes his way out of the room. Youngbae sighs again, rises from the bed and starts to pull his own clothes on. He makes his way to the kitchen, only to see Jiyong suddenly moving much faster. He is gathering his things and packing them into his bookbag, along with a water bottle.

“Why are you moving so quickly?” Youngbae catches the slender man around the waist and pulls him by his collar into a kiss.

Jiyong blushes. “I have somewhere I need to be” he mumbles against Youngbae’s mouth.

Youngbae hums in response but doesn’t let up. He attempts to deepen the kiss. Jiyong pulls away abruptly.

“Youngbae, I said I have to go!” Jiyong tugs at Youngbae’s grip on his jumper. There is a furrow of a frown on his face. Jiyong bends to pick up his bag and turns for the door. The slam is deafening in the quiet room.

Youngbae stays rooted to the spot, staring at the closed door. He wishes things had never reached this stage, that they could go back to the way they were before feelings had developed. He wishes that what they had done could mean something more to him. He knew that their night had meant something to Jiyong, but he was yet to feel anything past the physical pleasure. He wishes that he could believe all of the words he had whispered last night, as he moved within Jiyong in the darkness. He wishes that it all wasn’t such a big mistake, waiting to blow up in their faces. He wishes all of this, but he doesn’t know if he regrets it fully. He is selfish and weak, and he is being unfair to both Jiyong and Hyorin. His behaviour was cheap and unsavoury; though if Jiyong came to him begging like he did last night, Youngbae isn’t sure if he could refuse.

He knows that Jiyong is beautiful, inside and out. But in reality that doesn’t mean a thing to Youngbae, and neither does Jiyong.


End file.
